Confession....

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Rhapsody, my most amazing daughter, is now 8 months and 2 weeks old! And
I think it is time for a little momma confession. I. Hate. Breast feeding. Yep, I hate it! I have been feeding her since the day she was born. And until 2 months ago she ate me and only me. She wouldn't touch a bottle. Maybe this is what caused my hatred of all things boob. The fact that I had to feed her every hour, on the hour, was exhausting. That's barely enough time to get a shower in, let alone have a life outside of "which boob was last?" Now don't get me wrong, I love that I can feed Rhaps. I love not spending money on Formula. I love that I am blessed in being able to continue feeding past the 6 month mark, and will most likely make it to a year. Put that all aside though, and I hate every moment! I hate that Rhaps grabs my face, and tries to put her fingers in my mouth. I hate when she pops off, leaving me exposed to the disapproving eye. I hate having to search for a place to feed a screaming baby. Do I feel like this makes me a bad mom? The fact that I hate feeding my child? NO! Because I do it anyways! I know so much about breast feeding because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right to provide the BEST start for my princess. I love counselling other moms on my own experience, as well as what research says. I've even considered going into school to become a "mommy Counselor" for lack of another word. And I'll be damned of anyone says I am a "bad" mom because I can't wait to be done breast feeding! It has been a privilege to feed my daughter, and I will do the same with any other babies I have. However, the biggest and most sacred part of parent-hood is putting your wants and needs last. I feel that my dislike for the boob has been God's way of teaching me to be a better mom.

There is an end in sight! Rhapsody had actually began to ween herself. She eats 3 to 5 meals a day with minimal breast feeding in between. My supply has seriously lowered and she doesn't seem to mind. Thank goodness for the small blessings!


Welcome to My Version of Life

22... "WHAT! You're only 22!"

I hear it all the time.. "What! You're how young!?" grrrr... I get so tired of hearing this! I guess for me it is because 22 years of my life have been lived to the utmost fullest. I have had some really horrible things happen to me, along with the miraculous, and awe inspiring. At a singular time I feel both too young and too old for what has been my version of life.

On this 22nd year, I find myself in such a wonderful and amazing place. Physically, mentally, and emotionally I am better than I have ever been before. I am living in England, a country full of history, castles, fairytales, and adventure. I have a husband who loves me more than I have ever loved myself. I have my annoying, boisterous, and lovable pooches. And I have my daughter. My dear Rhapsody. Who has brought me a fuller, more noteworthy life, with Joy I never thought a child would bring. Twenty two isn't looking so bad for me! 

And as my twenty third year of life is staring me in the face, for the first time that I can remember I can look forward without fear or apprehension. I know that I have my family and my God beside me to lead me through the years to come. I welcome the joy, frustration, love, and new friendships that this next year will hold for me. I know there is much that will happen between now and twenty three. I stand with my back straight and ready for whatever it is Life will give me now. Join me in another year of Military, Motherhood, and Madness. What? I needed another M. Everyone loves alliteration! 

Welcome To My Version of Life

Feedback PULEASE!

I'm wondering what everyone thinks of the format, style, and look of this blog so far... I've been tweaking it the past few weeks and trying to make it more readable to people viewing online and on their phones. SO if you don't mind leaving me a bit of a comment below with your criticisms, and praises (especially praises!!) I am also looking to create a few more tabs/categories for the page, anyone got some inspirations?  I will take all that is said into account to make a more ...pleasurable... blog. (Now imagine all that in a creepy man voice ...pleasurable...) AND have a nice day!

Welcome to My Version of Life