Rhapsody, my most amazing daughter, is now 8 months and 2 weeks old! And
I think it is time for a little momma confession. I. Hate. Breast feeding. Yep, I hate it! I have been feeding her since the day she was born. And until 2 months ago she ate me and only me. She wouldn't touch a bottle. Maybe this is what caused my hatred of all things boob. The fact that I had to feed her every hour, on the hour, was exhausting. That's barely enough time to get a shower in, let alone have a life outside of "which boob was last?" Now don't get me wrong, I love that I can feed Rhaps. I love not spending money on Formula. I love that I am blessed in being able to continue feeding past the 6 month mark, and will most likely make it to a year. Put that all aside though, and I hate every moment! I hate that Rhaps grabs my face, and tries to put her fingers in my mouth. I hate when she pops off, leaving me exposed to the disapproving eye. I hate having to search for a place to feed a screaming baby. Do I feel like this makes me a bad mom? The fact that I hate feeding my child? NO! Because I do it anyways! I know so much about breast feeding because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right to provide the BEST start for my princess. I love counselling other moms on my own experience, as well as what research says. I've even considered going into school to become a "mommy Counselor" for lack of another word. And I'll be damned of anyone says I am a "bad" mom because I can't wait to be done breast feeding! It has been a privilege to feed my daughter, and I will do the same with any other babies I have. However, the biggest and most sacred part of parent-hood is putting your wants and needs last. I feel that my dislike for the boob has been God's way of teaching me to be a better mom.
There is an end in sight! Rhapsody had actually began to ween herself. She eats 3 to 5 meals a day with minimal breast feeding in between. My supply has seriously lowered and she doesn't seem to mind. Thank goodness for the small blessings!
Welcome to My Version of Life
Love this post! You're so right. Parenthood teaches us so much about putting our needs, wants, & convenience aside.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it's totally okay to not like breastfeeding. We do it anyway because we love. :0)