Rhapsody, my most amazing daughter, is now 8 months and 2 weeks old! And
I think it is time for a little momma confession. I. Hate. Breast feeding. Yep, I hate it! I have been feeding her since the day she was born. And until 2 months ago she ate me and only me. She wouldn't touch a bottle. Maybe this is what caused my hatred of all things boob. The fact that I had to feed her every hour, on the hour, was exhausting. That's barely enough time to get a shower in, let alone have a life outside of "which boob was last?" Now don't get me wrong, I love that I can feed Rhaps. I love not spending money on Formula. I love that I am blessed in being able to continue feeding past the 6 month mark, and will most likely make it to a year. Put that all aside though, and I hate every moment! I hate that Rhaps grabs my face, and tries to put her fingers in my mouth. I hate when she pops off, leaving me exposed to the disapproving eye. I hate having to search for a place to feed a screaming baby. Do I feel like this makes me a bad mom? The fact that I hate feeding my child? NO! Because I do it anyways! I know so much about breast feeding because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right to provide the BEST start for my princess. I love counselling other moms on my own experience, as well as what research says. I've even considered going into school to become a "mommy Counselor" for lack of another word. And I'll be damned of anyone says I am a "bad" mom because I can't wait to be done breast feeding! It has been a privilege to feed my daughter, and I will do the same with any other babies I have. However, the biggest and most sacred part of parent-hood is putting your wants and needs last. I feel that my dislike for the boob has been God's way of teaching me to be a better mom.
There is an end in sight! Rhapsody had actually began to ween herself. She eats 3 to 5 meals a day with minimal breast feeding in between. My supply has seriously lowered and she doesn't seem to mind. Thank goodness for the small blessings!
Welcome to My Version of Life
