Good Lawdy...

This was our first real PCS (permanent change of station for you non military speaking folk) and it has been quite hard. Not gonna lie.

When I moved to England I was a newly wed with nothing to my name but my book collection and clothing. Now I have a family. A household. Responsibilities.

Sure. Driving to Turkey was hard. But when all is said and done, that was the easy part.

Adjusting here is really hard.

Turkey is foreign. And I mean FOREIGN. I'm not sure you can really grasp how weird it is here... On base is even different from the other bases I've been on. Some people can't speak English, and I can't speak the local language. Even grasping how to say thank you in Turkish is hard for me! It's the the most unsettling and disconcerting thing not being able to communicate with those around you...

 There are so many things about my life now that I can't really tell family and friends because it would endanger our OPSEC (operational security). There are a lot of financial issues that have arisen since getting here that we never foresaw that we are now having to deal with...

I have to confess that I am really struggling right now. I'm fighting with my husband, short tempered with my child, things keep seeming to go 'wrong' in our day to day lives. I feel like I'm struggling to make friends (friendships have always been a bit weird for me..) I spend thirteen plus hours a day with a fussy, teething, grumpy baby and I don't have my things. It's funny how that affects a person. I don't have the spices I want to cook with. I don't have my bed! I don't have my lamps. My pots and pans aren't here. My clothes, my towels, my stuff that I like are just not here. I know I can live without my things. They aren't necessary. Nice, but not necessary. However, when you have uncomfortable furniture and a lack of cooking supplies it does something to a woman!

We did find out today that our household goods have arrived and we get to have our things next week, but this just raises all kinds of other stressers (did the movers break anything important? Is my antique dressing table in one piece? Did some of my things not even make it on the truck? Are they going to actually unpack us or just leave us with boxes to do on our own?) I know these stresses are part of military life, but that doesn't make them NOT stressful. I dislike  hate when people say things like "It's just part of this life," or, "It's just stuff." Yeah. I know that. But it's my stuff! Just because I don't like the stress of some of the moving process, doesn't mean that I dislike the service that my husband does. I love being in the military family. I love living in Turkey. I love moving. I hate stress.

I'm sorry if this post seems a little erratic (and sad). It's late. I've had a very long and stressful couple of days with some bad news to complement all the other things going on and I just had to write. Here's the outcome of me just writing...

Don't worry! It will all work out (so I don't like when people say it to me... I can say it to myself!) I really like Turkey so far. I can't wait to have our car driveable to go explore! We've got some really cool things planned like a Saturday BBQ at our gardeners house (a very nice Turkish man). This is but a season in our time here, and it will pass quickly... Hopefully really quickly...

Welcome to My Version of Life...