Get A New Job!!!

My baby turns 1 tomorrow... God. Where did the time go?

I am not one of those mom's who cry's because their baby is becoming a toddler. In fact, I am one of those mom's that welcomes it! I watched my daughter walk to me from the hallway to the couch in the living room without touching ANYTHING today. Joy people. Real joy. I won't have to carry the rascal for much longer! Just kidding... well... sorta.

So I hopped on me ol' bloggy here tonight to confess something to the internet world. Something I know every single mom has felt and I am sure there are a plethora of blog posts on it...

I am a bad mom.

For real. I seriously nearly had a mental break-down over this today. I get those email updates on 'where your baby should be now.' And it was all congratulating me on my baby hitting 1. Yay Me... wait. Yay Rhaps! Anyways. I popped onto the website to look up some other information and that's when the mommy forum loaded. I kid you not. It was these mom's comparing "well my SON walked TWO months ago and is now running..." and "my kid feed's herself..." and "we're still BF, don't know how any mom stops at 1..." and "we've completely transitioned to cow's milk..." Everywhere I turned it was mom's one-uping each other. Not being mean. Of course they were civilized. But I found myself reading these post thinking, "I'm a bad mom. I want to stop breast feeding... like... yesterday... and Rhapsody doesn't really say wooords, more like syllables that sorta make words that she uses often... Rhapsody can't really walk... She doesn't use sign language... She doesn't use a spoon... She can't recite her alphabet!... This is ALL my fault... I am a bad mom..." Seriously internet. You are one fantastic recourse, but you feed into my low self esteem so easily. All of my human and motherly fears can be brought forth by one minuscule email! I realized while I was reading all these mothers triumphs I was destroying all of mine... Why do we do that! Every decision we as mother's (and father's!) make will not only be ridiculed by people around us, but also by ourselves. This is not to say that sometimes you need to adjust how you parent if you come to realize you are operating in an unhealthy manner. However, why should I feel bad because of your kid's advancement? I shouldn't! My kid is AWESOME, and I am pretty awesome myself. I mean, dear god, I birthed that thing that now crawls screaming through my house, dropping toys (mostly not her toys, but I digress) into my toilet, and causing general mayhem! She rocks, therefore I rock. And you, mom who judges me (or dad... men read too... right?) well you person can SUCK IT. And to the freaky lady who lives in my brain... get a job that doesn't involve ridiculing me! Why don't you make me cheesecake and bring me wine? Seems like a better job for the internal me.....

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