An Apology to Myself...

Blog Every Day in May

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology.

 

 

Alright, so today I'm going to go a little bit deep here. maybe.

 

 

I would like to say that I am sorry to myself.

I have, for my whole life, put myself down on a daily basis... multiple times... I was taught how to do it young, by the people closest to me, and it is so hard to stop myself now. I am sorry for my constant nagging. My constant comparing. For saying "I am not good enough," "I am not pretty enough," "I am not worth it."

 

I am sorry for all the horrible things I have done to myself to try and make me something I couldn't, and shouldn't be. I have not been healthy, both in mind and in body. But I promise now to try so much harder to say good things. To eat good things. To believe good things about who I am. I promise to become comfortable with the person that I am, and to not be ashamed of myself any longer. I cannot change the things that happened to me, I cannot change the things I have done, but I can change the way in which I view myself from now on. For the sake of myself, my daughter, and my husband, I have begun the process of becoming a better, more confident, more healthy me. I will begin to forgive myself for the hateful way in which I have looked in the mirror, and the unkind words said in my mind, and on my lips. I WILL become me without fear or shame for who me is...

I am a strong, capable woman. One who does not fear much, willing to go down fighting. I live a life full of adventure and wonder. I am a mom. I am a good mom. I am beautiful. I have a husband who adores me. I am more than what I appear. I will remind myself this every day until I believe it.

Sorry to the girl who has had to endure my deplorable thoughts.

 

***I have recently become aware of the way in which I speak to myself. It is not healthy, it is not nice. I have begun changing the way I look in the mirror, and how I see me. It is small changes that I am making, but they are helping. I hope that if you suffer from the same meanness to yourself that this will really make you think about how you THINK about yourself.

I really love how I've been styling my hair recently... Probably one of my favorite styles yet. Wednesday I am getting it cut, so we'll see what happens then!

 

 

 

 

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